I wish I could be different.

Sometimes being introverted/shy/anti-social really sucks.

Our van had transmission issues. (Yes, this IS related.) We have a friend who used to be a mechanic working on it so we can save money, which is really good, but it means that it's taking FOREVER to get done. He's currently had it for 2 1/2 weeks, and it's our only vehicle.

Fortunately for us, we live close to the church, I got lots of groceries before we gave it to him, and we live decently close to the boys' school.

Unfortunately for us, our friend has had the van for such a long time that we've had to start asking people for help. For example, Austin got sick the other day, and I had to ask a friend if she would run to the store and grab a couple things, including Pedialyte, for us. I HATE asking people for help. She was willing to do it for us, thank goodness, but it almost hurt to ask.

Another example: our food is pretty much gone. My sister-in-law was super-nice and got us a couple things we asked for, and I was excited about the cereal until I saw it wasn't the flavor I liked. I'm suuuuper grateful she went, but I'm still sad I didn't have a way to get to the store myself so I could get exactly what I wanted. I'm picky with my cereal. *sigh*

And of course, I don't have anyone to complain to about it, because complaining to people gives me anxiety. (What if I'm complaining too much? Will they think I'm always this negative? Will they hate me because I'm upset over stupid cereal?) I try to tell Jason, because I HAVE to get it out of my system or it'll fester, but I feel like he thinks I'm not being patient enough with his friend fixing the van. I know I'm not being patient. I have four kids who are crazy, a house that is always messy, no food left in the house, and a tendency to panic when I have to ask people for stuff; patience is not my forte.

*sigh*

All I do on this blog is complain anymore. I don't mean for it to be that way... I just don't feel like I have anyone else to talk to. Sometimes I just need to get these thoughts out of my head, and then I feel better.

Please don't judge me. Eventually I'll have something to post that makes me feel so happy I'll burst if I don't say something here. Until then... all you're going to hear is my truth.