A New Beginning

"Always carry a notebook. And I mean always. The short-term memory only retains information for three minutes; unless it's committed to paper you can lose an idea for ever." -Will Self

I've started this new thing where when I pray, I keep a journal nearby so that if I feel like I think of something important or feel like I'm receiving answers to my prayers, I can write it down. I've found that I've received more answers than I thought I had in the past, and it's easier to remember what those answers are.

One thing I felt during one of my prayers is that I need to be better at journal-writing. I used to be really good at writing in my journal, in middle school and part of high school. At that point, I got a Xanga, which is kinda like a blog, and I kept up with it religiously up until a little while before I got married, when I switched to blogger. Then I kept up with this pretty religiously until... a year-ish ago?

Anyway, I've felt bad that I haven't kept up with my life and the lives of my boys. I thought about writing in a paper journal, but I write in there so seldom that I feel like I have to catch up for MONTHS every time I write, and my hand starts to hurt after a while. I much prefer to type, so here we are, on my blog - my new journaling outlet. I'm hoping to get on closer to every day and just talk about what's going on in my life and my family's lives, and talk about my feelings like I would a journal.

I'm not sure that anyone reads this anymore, but if you do, feel free to read along if you feel like it.

For starters, Jason got a job. He works as a kind of over-the-phone health coach for the insurance company Humana. He started his job on my birthday, midway through last month. His job is in Cincinnati, and we moved down to Northern Kentucky the weekend before he started. We found this great 3-bed, 2-bath townhome apartment that's only about 20-25 minutes from downtown Cincinnati in heavy traffic, and the boys are loving having the space. 

We came without a lot of furniture, so we're slowly but surely filling the place. For example, just earlier this week we got a couch. We'd been sitting on the floor before that, and it was starting to get really uncomfortable, so I'm really grateful for the blessing this couch is to us! And there are a couple great things about it - first, it's from IKEA (which is pretty close to us!), so it's really good quality, but relatively cheap. Also, it's kinda like a futon because the pad on the couch is actually a mattress with a slipcover on it, and it can be laid down into a bed. This is perfect because Jason's mom is going to be visiting us toward the end of next month, and I was really stressing about not having a place for her to sleep or for us to sit while she was here. Anyway, next on our list is a real kitchen table and chairs, which we'll also get from IKEA, because right now we're using a card table and folding chairs.

The boys are doing well. Andrew's made friends with some of the neighbor kids, although he hasn't been able to play with them very much since it got cold outside. We end up spending a lot of time inside because we still have just the one vehicle that Jason takes to work, and while there are some places close to us, they're not really a walking-friendly distance.

Andrew keeps asking how much longer until Halloween, until Christmas, and until his birthday. He'll be turning 5 this year a few days after Christmas, and I can't believe that he's getting so old. He is so smart and such a smart-alek that I often have a hard time keeping up with him. We looked into putting him into preschool around here, but the one or two places I've really looked at cost a lot of money. I'll have to do a little more research, because I think Andrew could really benefit from having some structured learning time.

David is getting so big! Almost two weeks ago, we started potty training him, and he's doing really well. He still has accidents every now and then, and he's ever only gone #2 in the toilet once, but he's doing so much better than I could've hoped that I'm really happy with his progress. Also, I just moved him into 4t clothes the other day, and I keep looking at him and wondering how the time has passed so quickly.

As for me, I have a couple things to confess. First is something that I thought about a lot before but didn't want to admit to anyone: I'm pretty sure I have depression. It hasn't been diagnosed or anything, but I often feel down and lack motivation to do anything. I have some anxiety, and have trouble sleeping, and all these things have lasted for a long time. I'm not ashamed to talk about it, and I'm hoping that by putting it out there for others to see, I might feel a little better by being open about it.

On top of that, Jason and I have been trying to get pregnant with child #3 for over a year. So many of my friends have been getting pregnant and having kids, and while I'm happy for them, sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me or if I'm doing something wrong. I know I'm not doing something wrong, but I DO know something's going on with my body. Over the last year, I've had my period maybe 4 times, and even though I saw a doctor right before we moved, nothing has changed. I'm hoping that once we get our medical insurance cards that I'll be able to find an ob/gyn that will be able to help us figure out the root of my body's issues and we'll be able to add to our family again.

If you've stuck through this whole entry and are still with me, congratulations! You've earned yourself some pictures! These were taken by our good friend Vanessa back in June. Enjoy!

Family Picture

Momma and the silly boys

Superhero pose! (Or as Andrew puts it, Brave Pose)

My little hams

This has to be the best picture of me and Jason EVER.

Can a funny family picture get much better than this?

Phew! (And yes, it was raining!)

Cute Andrew

Sweet David

My two cutie-patooties

One more to get you to go, "awwwwww!"

Secret: Things HAVE to hang straight on the wall. If they're crooked, it drives me mad until I fix it. I was like that as a teenager too - the posters on my wall were all hung up nice and tidy and straight, with each corner tacked carefully in so that they wouldn't move when the door opened or closed. I may be just a little OCD about this...