Self-incriminating confession of a not-so-great mom

I've determined that I need a vacation. Is it terrible that sometimes I want to take a vacation without my kids, or even Jason, coming along? Sometimes I want to go away, press a "reset" button, and come home feeling refreshed. And have 10 frozen meals in the freezer, the house completely clean, and completely behaving children.

I wake up every morning to screaming children. I walk out to the living room/dining room/kitchen, look around, and it looks like something blew up: last night's blankets are strewn throughout the room, cereal has been stepped on and smashed into the carpet (and whatever hasn't been smashed has migrated throughout the whole apartment), school papers have made their home over every single couch cushion, last night's dinner plates are still on the table, the kitchen hasn't been wiped down since... well, I can't remember.

Guys. I am SO tired. My almost-3-month-old is mostly sleeping through the night, but she still gets up a couple hours before I feel rested. Nothing ever stays clean. Nothing is ever done! So I ignore it because I'm too tired, and it gets worse and worse... and the baby is crying while I'm trying to clean, and my 5-year-old didn't get dressed so he's late to school, and the 2-year-old won't stop screaming until I pick him up, and I can'5 get the 7-year-old to get off the computer.

I keep telling myself I can do hard things, but I feel like I'm drowning. I'm not living up to what I'm supposed to be. I can't even get myself off the couch without wanting to cry about how much needs to be done. Like the dishes. People say that the chores can "be done later", to "just enjoy your kids", but I'be already put off doing the dishes for three days. We have no more clean bowls or forks, and there's a stink coming from the sink.

Tell me that this doesn't make me a terrible mom. Now that you know the truth - that I'm a combination of lazy and overwhelmed, that I can't seem to find the motivation to do much of my "job" as a stay-at-home mom, that I'd rather read a book than break up another fight - tell me that I'm doing a great job. Tell me that this season of life will also pass. Because I'm already berating myself and guilt fills me every time I fall short. Which is pretty much on a minute-by-minute basis.

Help.