Rant

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for 20 minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual." -Phyllis Diller

Ok. So. I know I don't get on here, like, at all anymore. And I'm ok with that. But I just have random thoughts that I don't think would be appreciated elsewhere. I don't want all my friends on Facebook to see everything I say. I also feel like I'm taking over pregnancy boards on different websites just to say random stuff that no one seems to care about.

So... Here's what I've decided.

Whenever I have a random thought or want to say something and get it off my chest but don't want to burden other people unnecessarily with those things, I'll post it here.

To give a little background (since it's been a while), Andrew started kindergarten just about a month ago. David is home still. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with another BOY. Really didn't see the boy thing coming again. I was really hoping for a girl! I really AM happy with my life and how things are going.

But 1. Andrew has had a few times at school where his behavior was an issue. I guess, considering I'm his mother and know him really well, this shouldn't surprise me. He's gotten in trouble for talking too much during learning time. I'm just irritated that it's happened three times in one month already. I mean, seriously? I have THAT kid. We've decided that whenever he gets moved to "yellow" - like a yellow light - he gets privileges for screen time at home taken away. I'm just crossing my fingers that it works. He knows we're disappointed with his behavior when the teacher writes a note to us, so I'm hoping this fixes things.

2. David is, for the most part, my chill little guy. He goes with the flow a lot, which I love, and honestly need! After having Andrew, I was scared to have another baby for fear he/she would be exactly like Andrew. I love Andrew, but I can only take one of him at once. Seriously. Anyway, lately, David has taken to being really stubborn about his potty training especially, but other things as well - food, tv, looking at pictures on my phone, his toys... it's driving me nuts.

3. I'm READY for this pregnancy to be over. I keep feeling like this little guy might come early, but I'm not sure if that's the Spirit telling me to get myself prepped soon, or if that's just wishful thinking on my part. I'm just tired. The apartment looks like something blew up inside it, I can't keep up with all the chores, and keeping my brood of boys fed seems beyond my capabilities right now. I just want to sleep all the time! Or sit! I'm sore or cracking body parts or limping or needing to pee every time I get up. And then when I'm sick of everything not getting done, I make a day of trying to change that, and I get sooooo exhausted by the end that I leave everything be for a few days... and we're back to where we began - with a bomb's aftermath in here. So tired.

Sorry for the ranting and complaining, but I actually do feel better having that off my chest. I love being a mom, I'm so grateful I'm pregnant, I'm thankful for all the things we have. But it's also alright to have these feelings. They're natural! Anyone who goes through life only sharing the good things is, in a way, lying about their life to everyone else. Life isn't always sunshine and roses; life is HARD.

Good thing the hard things are worth all the great and wonderful things, right? :)

There. Rant finished. Back to life!